Thursday, 8 February 2018

Baz Luhrmann was right

Yesterday I decided to delete my Facebook apps from my phone.  I typed out a quick status letting my friends know they could contact me by text for the time being, and then got rid.  I haven't deleted my accounts altogether - although I might do when I can find time to go through and rescue all the photos - but I just wanted to take some time away.



I don't get much out of Facebook in general, I find it to be mostly endless memes and 'tag a friend' posts with only the occasional snippet of personal news and I'm usually only scrolling out of habit.  But my reason for taking a break is actually down to the 'On This Day' function.

It's like Baz Luhrmann said in Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen).

Trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked... You are not as fat as you imagine.

It hasn't quite been 20 years but boy do I know what he meant.

Nostalgia is BIG at the moment what with all the TV revivals, old style products making a comeback etc. and I love it for the most part.  I love being reminded of things from my childhood and reminiscing with my friends about our school days is one of my favourite things to do.  But sometimes, nostalgia comes with a longing for the time or moment or person past that physically aches and that's how I feel about Facebook memories.

'Nostalgia and melancholia are thick as thieves.' - Heather O'Neill, The Lonely Heart's Hotel

Being confronted with old photos of myself (and I do mean confronted, it was alright when it was in the sidebar and you had the option not to look, but it's usually the first thing at the top of the feed at the moment) was only making me feel more unhappy with my now.   They weren't making me smile like they should, they were reminding me that I don't look or feel like the girl in those photos any more, and how much I wish I did.  I'm actually a little bit jealous of her.  I had my insecurities then too but they were nothing compared to the ones I have now, although I felt them very sharply at the time.  Hindsight is a wonderful thing, huh?

Related post: My Hair Story

It's not just about the photos either.  I've been on Facebook since I was 16 and the memories section is often a stark reminder of just how many people I've lost touch with over the years.

I usually look at social media in the morning while I'm getting ready for work, and on more than one occasion I caught myself thinking on this later on in the day.  I know they say you shouldn't compare your behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel, but they didn't say anything about your own.

Long story short, I realised that the easiest way to stop myself from getting sucked into comparing my life then and now was to limit my access, so Facebook and I are on a break, for now.  My memories are precious to me - I am a self-proclaimed memory hoarder in fact - but I'm not turning my back on them, just saving them for a time when I can look at them and smile.

I'm curious to know your thoughts on this one: have you ever taken a break from social media for similar reasons and did it help you?

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